Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
