idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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