she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Dick very happy bro
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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