And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
