I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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