I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
