you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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