Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
