dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
