Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize