I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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