Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
