We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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