...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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