return my video game
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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