he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
