her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
