Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
