and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
