I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
