you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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