I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
