whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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