Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
