Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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