i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
