Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
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