i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
