they need to just BURY HIM!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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