Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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