So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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