You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
