One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
