Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Randomize
