Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
i've created a new STD.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
