She said her name was "party"
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
