i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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