yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
