thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
