Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
