My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So much Jack, so little girl.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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