I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Randomize
