You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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