I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
