Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
it wasn't lemon gatorade
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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