I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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