two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
