just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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