so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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