definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He better not be in your backpack
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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