HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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