all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize