I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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