Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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