I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
