On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I can't turn off my feet"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
