oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
