What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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