How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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