So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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