Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
