But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
How's work?
Spinning.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
