it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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