Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Drunk is not a location!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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