I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
